Incorrect Twilight

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Edward: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Alice: I’ve been zoned out for the last two and a half hours.

Emmet: I got distracted about halfway through.

Bella: I was too lost in your eyes to hear what you said.

Rosalie: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

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Edward: You remind me of the ocean.

Rosalie: Why the ocean?

Edward: because you’re salty and you scare people.

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nephilimsss asked:

We all collectively agreed that Jasper’s backstory is utter bullshit, right? But what if he was a Union spy working on the Confederate side to gain intel on the Confederates for the Union. Another male working for the Union as a spy saw that he was with the Union and promoted him to Major just so he wouldn’t see real battle so he could safely carry messages to and from the Union. I’m sorry for wasting your time.

You are NOT wasting my time I adore getting messages! I must say that’s a very interesting and amazing theory! I think it’s super plausible and its an intriguing backstory! I would love to see how it would play out as well perhaps Maria would have never turned him! ⬇️

With that being said I don’t find Jaspers backstory to be bullshit. Personally I love his story because it shows how generations change and how far we’ve come. My understanding is Jasper grew up in the south, he grew up around people with similar opinions. It makes sense he would want to join the confederacy because he was surrounded with conservative southerners. He himself was one and probably still is. I think as times changed though Jasper realized what he once thought was okay, was not. His way of thinking changed and he grew as a person/immortal. Honestly I know many people will disagree with me and that’s okay but please do not come at me or spread hate because of my opinions.

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Bella: I have a plan.

Edward: It can’t involve self sacrifice.

Bella: I don’t have a plan.

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Edward: Is something burning?

Bella: Only my desire for you.

Edward: Bella, the toaster is on fire.

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Renesemee: *looks behind Rosalie to Jacob*

Rosalie: What is it child. What invisible horrors do you see with you’re baby eyes.

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Aro: Now I’ll admit… some mistakes were made.

Carlisle: …

Carlisle: Murders.

Carlisle: Some MURDERS were made.

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Bella: I’m tired of people telling me to ‘go to the hospital’ and that I’ve ‘lost a lot of blood’ it’s my stab wound, not yours. Stay out of it.

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Alice: Hey Edward, do you have a bag I can borrow?

Edward: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes,and they’re specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.

Alice: Literally all you had to do was say no.

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

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